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TELEFRICASSEE by Ricky Garni

11/27/2009

5 Comments

 
Picture
#55:  THERE IS ONE END

“There is one thing that I have to make very clear before we begin our lesson,” she said. “You may be a bullfighter, but I am a nun.”

     “I understand,” said the bullfighter, with a wry smile. “You are but a formidable opponent with whom I have fallen in love.”
     The bullfighter’s smile made Sister Bertrille blush. What was it that Mother Superior always used to say in situations like this? Sister Bertrille closed her eyes tightly and tried to remember.

     “Imagine a long, dark corridor,” she began, and then: “where victory wears a cruel smile.”

     No, Sister Bertrille thought to herself. That can’t be it. “Ah, yes.”
     “For the ladybug,” she recalled softly, “ a dozen roses.”

     “NO!” Wait. “A story to be told softly,” yes, yes, that’s it, “the big trouble with Charlie.”
     Nuts, Sister Bertrille muttered softly.
     Mother Superior was never in situations like this. Tutoring? Maybe. Certainly not with a bullfighter. And Sister Bertrille wondered who she really was? Was she a policeman?   
Yes, yes. A policeman. A policeman stealing car alarms? That could be. For the fun of it. No, no, because I need the money, yes. For my dreams. For my señor, thought Sister Bertrille. No, not
my señor.

     But those weren’t the thoughts of a woman in love, were they? Certainly not with a bullfighter.  And if they were, those bullfighters were nothing like me. At least not like this one. But maybe so.
     Sister Bertrille opened up her book, smiled, and began to read, just for fun, starting at the end.

TELEFRICASSEE is a 101 part beastly stew or episode roux of television shows beginning with Our Miss Brooks, Meet Mr. McNutley, Father Knows Best and continuing through Honey West, The Real McCoys, Ben Casey, My Mother The Car, Sea Hunt and GIdget, finally achieving full denouement with Chico The Man and then concluding abruptly with Nip/Tuck, although there are many others, uncredited, to be found in between.

Ricky Garni has worked as a graphic designer, a teacher, a warehouse manager, a wine merchant, a recording engineer, and, for one day, a bathroom attendant in a pizzeria on Miami Beach that had a rather dainty and elderly thermostat and it was summer.  Mr. Garni has written poetry and prose since 1974, and has been published fairly often in print and on the web.  He loves old movies and bicycles and still likes pizza, but prefers the honest, wholesome, North Carolina variety.



5 Comments
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