Was I ever that at ease
with girls? Able to sit
with hips and shoulders,
heat and jean and flannel?
Or, was I always
a bit sure I was other
with my last winter’s jeans
in spring, my home cut hair.
Or, is it not even about girls,
but more how I never
wanted to be boy
crazy; how I say, even now
as an adult, “He’s a hugger
so sit down.” When did it take
too much time out of my day
to engage in an embrace?
Maybe I’ve always
been an Alice, never able
to decide whether to eat
or drink the one that says
enjoy over the one that says
or not. LS