Screwvenir by Russell Bittner

  Chase sashay from Chardonnay
and quit the sprit from Aquavit;
and then, we’ll just self-medicate
on half a champagne split.

Benumbed, we’ll stare at coasters
since we’re both profoundly lit,
like a pair of roiled roasters
skewered tightly to a spit.

Beguiling is the way you bluff
an effervescent style;
in truth, we know your sterner stuff
belies a youthful smile.

And while your age condones your rage
to land a younger barge,
I wonder: do you think it sage
with lovelies still at large?

So, back to cardboard coasters
to redress what doesn’t fit
as we sit like white bread toasters,
shorting out the wit to quit.


Russell Bittner hails from Brooklyn, New York.